Possibilities Beyond Borders

          Lately, I’ve been thinking way too deep than I usually do. What does my future hold? Will I be able to manage things the way I’m used to? Or will it be such a challenge now that I’m about to enter the world of reality and endless possibilities? Whenever I think about graduation, I feel happy, sad, brave, scared, overwhelmed, confused, excited, frustrated and a whole lot more of mixed emotions packed in one. I’ve been completely torn between choices and options. But what’s the difference between the two? None. Because either way, I’m bound to make decisions, those of which will make or break the path I’m opt to take. 

          But what makes me more utterly baffled is that, I’m not really good at making decisions. Whenever I take a look at the weight of things, I tend to consider the pros and cons in a careless manner which results to disappointments and regrets. Of all things I hate, I don’t like being disappointed. I extremely dislike the feeling and the fact that I put so much effort and expectation on a certain thing, but ends up letting it slip my hands and worse, not getting it. Gah, just the thought of it makes me want to continue this writing in SHOUTY CAPITALS. Like that. Hahaha. =)) Oh, the irony. But somehow, I get hints from people around me. There’s always room for 2nd opinion, even 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on.

          Regarding my hotel practicum, it’s been weeks since a hotel called me for an interview. But lately, there had been none, and it makes me panic because I feel like I’m running out of time. Most of my batchmates have already been preparing their requirements for OJT (i.e. transcripts, certifications, recommendation letters, medical clearances, etc.). And what’s more, others have started training mid-October already. I envy them. :|

          Well, technically, I already have a hotel to hold my practicum: Best Western Oxford Suites Makati. But in some way, I’m not whole-heartedly confident about it. Why? Let me enumerate that for you.

1. HOTEL CLASSIFICATION. I have no idea if Best Western is a 3 or 4-star hotel. Google somewhat posted varying ratings which were based on reviews from TripAdvisor, Agoda and other travel blog sites. I’m kinda aiming for 5. 
2. REQUIRED TRAINING HOURS. Best Western asks for 500 hours of hotel training, but our course only requires 300 for completion (I think). 
3. GOING THERE AND BACK. The trip seems too exhausting. Even if it’s only one train ride from MRT Cubao Station to Buendia, I don’t have the strength and enthusiasm to keep up and squeeze myself in with the huge number of MRT passengers every day, six times a week, multiply that by 2. K I have tried it once for my interview, and I swore to myself I will never do it again. 
4. LOCATION MATTERS. Best Western is unfortunately at the heart of Makati’s Red Light District. Hotels, pubs and bars from left to right. You’ll see foreigners with girls dressed in miniskirts/shorts and cleavage-level tops. You get the picture. You know what I mean. 
5. ENVIRONMENT IS ANOTHER CONCERN. Even if Makati is one of the most clean and disciplined cities in Manila, I still cannot fathom the environment where the hotel is. I’m just scared. Okay, coward. I don’t know. A lot of things can happen. Even just by walking in the streets, I once imagined that someone might pick on me. Jeez, I can’t run too fast. And worse, I might be in heels if ever such thing happens. 

Best Western Oxford Suites Makati

(Photo taken from the Internet)

          And so last night, I asked for a sign. Is it going to be Best Western? Or should I wait for other hotels? For bigger opportunities? I hold at the thought not later than this morning. Miss Jo de Guzman, the one who interviewed me at Best Western, texted me once again after two dull weeks. Her text reads, “Can you start November 4 already?” The first thing that came to me was, “Is this the sign?” And so, I texted her back saying, “Yes miss, I can.” without hesitation.

          Have I made the right decision? Or is it one of my clumsy-reflex decisiveness? Now I’m starting to weigh things again. I asked my parents, my boyfriend Gelo, and my close friend Toni about this. They all said I should take the opportunity. They even added “Who knows, they might even absorb you for employment afterwards.” which I haven’t thought of. For now, the hotel asks me of one thing, my recommendation letter. And once I hand it to them, I could start my training. Oh, the thought of working in a hotel makes me want to jump with glee. But re-thinking my reasons for considering Best Western, my joys are flushed again with doubts and what ifs. I just hope I get to finalize everything. I know that there are risks, but hopefully, all will be well. I’m still hoping for something better though.